Girl's Night II: The Empire Strikes Back

14 November 2008

Jed arrived first that night, to find me alone in the living room watching The Warriors and eating buffalo chicken wings, while Zora hid upstairs. We discussed the simplicity of fleeing from a roller-skating gangster in a subway system. Nate arrived and the girls soon followed. As soon as the talk of dancing surpassed the noise of my liver singing whiskey songs, we were out of the door. Nate, Jed and I traveled down to Allston in an attempt to escape the dreaded girl’s night that would be culminating at a quasi sports bar near Commercial Street on the West End/North End border and entirely too much dancing with too few drinks. Needless to say we had already won. When we got close to our destination we opted to stop at the liquor store in order to grab some refreshments. On first entry into the magical place where happiness comes in colorful bottles, we were greeted by a woman with a dazzling Scottish accent offering us samples of Scotch (40$ a bottle). Nate and Jed had two of the half shots and I partook in three, as they were amazingly delicious. On this third the woman allowed too much to be placed in the sample with a befuddled and adorably sinister “Oops!” then stated, “I’m just getting everyone drunk today!” She was unaware that I had already been drinking.
We were greeted at the apartment by the residents and sooner than later goulet, whose name will remain without a capital as long as he insists on taking two block ambulance rides, arrived with a 36 pack of Budweiser. It’s not good beer, but beggars can’t be choosers. The 36 pack was drunk as we watched clips of Gay Town, the story of a straight man in a topsy-turvy world where homosexuals dominate and persecute Heterosexuals, The Whitest Kids You Know sketch comedy, Always Sunny and Venture Brothers. The night eventually lead to the sound of The Street Dogs, Stray Bullets, The Clash filling the small room as one by one we separated and slept.

Girls' Night

So last Friday, the girls held "Girls' Night" at our place. For those who don't know, Girls' Night is an opportunity for any girl who has an affiliation with Lauren, Nora, or Sharon to get together, cook food, talk about Jane Austen, and knit. Prior to "the night", Lauren informed me that there would be something like eleven girls there. That's a little more girliness than I was prepared to handle, so I ran away and we ended up having a de facto "Guys' Night" at Dave, Tellef, and Walsh's place.

As it turns out, Guys' Night was way better than Girls' Night. Here's a scientific comparison for you:

Girls' Night	Guys' Night
Ended by 10:00	Went later than that
Jane Austen something or other	It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Some kind of chicken thing that had vegetables and was white. And salad.	Steak tips in Guinness marinade and kabobs
Knitting	Fallout 3

I'm a little too lazy to put more detail in here. Someone else finish this for me.